Grieving

      As a teen it is hard to deal with the loss of a loved one. When you loss someone you can start to grow all different types of emotions and that’s grief. Grief takes on different shapes, attitudes and behaviors. Teens experience grief in many different ways and not necessarily in the same order or at the same time. During grieving you may experience different feeling like anger, worry, guilt, and loneliness. In addition shock, self blame and very deep sadness.
         There are 7 Stages of Grief.
The first stage is SHOCK & DENIAL-You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed
disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. This may last for weeks.
      2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. It is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it. You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one.
      3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
You may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion. You may rail start questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")
      4."DEPRESSION", REFLECTION,LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief. During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on
things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.
       5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.
       6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.
      7.ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
You learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.
         In the book Tears of a Tiger by Sharon M. Draper the main character Andy went through most of these steps. He felt shocked about the death of his best friend Rob. Andy experienced a lot pain after the lost of his best friend. He felt the pain of being without him. He felt as though it was his fault his friend was dead. He was also angry hat he was gone. Andy was angry that he wasn’t there with him anymore. Andy became very depressed and withdrew from his family and friends.         Although it is always difficult to lose a loved one or someone you care about, it does get better. With time, the person will be able to heal and accept the loss without experiencing the excruciating pain that initially follows the death of someone you care about. You will never be able to completely get over losing someone you love, but in time, you will be able to move on and fully enjoy your life.